The Monthly Update Is Several Months Late

Well, four months went by without an update from me, so clearly I am doing great with that whole 'update blog once a month' thing!

(That's sarcasm, if you couldn't tell.)

So, for updates, I'm... making a lot of positive life changes. I've started EMDR therapy, which stands for Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing and is a special treatment for PTSD, although it can be used for any trauma. It's worked really, really well. I've had maybe four, five? sessions so far, and it's legitimately changed my life. Just the EMDR alone. I have a long way to go still, but it's working really well for me.

I've also been doing intermittent fasting for a month and a half, and been getting almost-daily exercise for a month. I've lost weight. I don't know how much, because I am refusing to weigh myself. The problem with weighing is that I weigh myself once and then suddenly I do it every day and then I'm crying because of natural daily fluctuations in weight.

The doctor's office gets to weigh me. I do not weigh myself. I let myself be pleasantly surprised by weighing less than last time.

But I look skinnier, and I feel stronger and my stamina has increased, so these are all good things.

I have a consultation on May 17th for chest surgery. I'm extremely excited to take this step in my transition. I plan to get the chest surgery, and then after that I intend to change my name and gender marker, as Utah and Colorado (the state I live in and the state I was born in) both use "X" gender markers on their documents. I was going to change my name first, but it's actually cheaper and more efficient to get the name change AND the gender marker change, and for the gender marker I do need to have done some physical transition, whether surgery or HRT.

I'm a little nervous about HRT, as I already deal with some mental and physical issues and while I handle birth control just fine, HRT is a lot of hormones. Plus, it would come with some changes I Definitely Don't Want, while not attacking the most dysphoria-inducing aspects for me. Thus: surgery to remove my 'chest tumors', which I have hated my entire life and 100% want to get rid of.

I also got a second monitor for my computer, which is nice. It's a drawing tablet display, so I can draw on it. I've doodled a couple of things, but I plan to get slowly more involved with art on it over time. It'll be good practice.

I drew my classic "Kunabee Flower", which I have about a million versions of. It's... recognizable of my flower. I was just desperate to doodle and had no other inspiration, so this is what came of it.

And then I doodled this scene. Mostly, I'm practicing the somewhat awkward way I have to draw. Due to the setup of my computer and desk, my monitors are both lifted into the air. So instead of looking down and drawing on a desk, I'm looking straightforward and ALSO have my hand in the air. I'm not happy with it, I see a lot of flaws, but it's certainly a start and what matters right now is practice, practice, practice.

I'm not naturally a visual artist. I'm a writer, and specifically a poet. The only way to get good at visual art is to practice it. These are very much 'doodles', but I plan to do proper drawings later. With references, looking at tutorials, all of those kinds of things.

I've also been... slowly... continuing to edit the Unicorn Valley. I'm maybe at the halfway point? It's hard, because I look at all the criticisms my editors gave me and I want to cry. However, once I get a rhythm going, I can knock out about 10 pages in a couple of hours. It's just a matter of making myself do at least a little bit every day.

That's the hard part, especially with all the other changes I've made.

I'm also planning to submit more poetry and maybe even short stories to different anthologies. I want to get out there more. And I want to use this blog more, because otherwise - what's the point?

Also! I have my domain again! Wix has frequent 50% off sales, I had a little bit of money, voila - paid for the domain and Wix-related benefits. I'll have three years of the whole thing, so that's three years where I know this website is not convoluted and not under wix's domain.

I think that's about everything I'm willing to share publicly. I'm hoping to do a little book review of a fellow writer here a bit later this month, if I can sit down and keep reading the book. It's good, I just have a terrible time focusing. It's a bunch of short stories, however, which means it's pretty accessible in terms of how much focus I need to give.

One last thing: I support Ukraine. Stuff is still happening there, and other countries are having trouble as well. Please stay safe, and help where you can.

Alright, everyone, take care, and if you're here - ha, thanks for sticking with me.